A Fig in Sweden Portland

what's swedish for "stride rite"?

Friday's shoe shopping trip was canceled due to the aforementioned toy shopping trip. Plus, dang, do you know how expensive baby shoes are? Like $50.  With every little body part rapidly growing, I thought it was best to delay the purchase as long as possible.

As with most baby milestones, I feel completely in the dark about how to go about this in Sweden. I stopped by the little shoe store in town a few weeks ago to scope out the selection. I think they had about 7 or 8 to choose from. My favorites were from a brand called KAVAT, apparently a Swedish institution in the children's shoe industry. They were also the most expensive. But they had that "we know what we're doing so you won't screw up your child's feet" look. I liked them!

I am now scouring Tradera (like eBay) for some good deals on some gently used ones. Saw this endearing pair – unused from the 1970s! They even have a little Swedish flag on them. Maybe that mustard yellow won't match much today, but they would look pretty cute sitting on a shelf for a bit of a nostalgic look in a nursery. But I should probably stick to searching for ones Sophie would wear on her feet! :)

Recommendations welcome!

i'm a sucker for swedish toys

I went to BRIO headquarters today (20km down the road in Osby) to pick up something for a birthday fika we're going to this weekend. I came home with these little guys for Sophie – a stacking owl and rolling hedgehog. It took tons of will power to stop at two things (but I've made a mental list of things to get on the next visit!).

I find wooden toys so much more creative than plastic stuff. And I know this is going to sound a little sappy, but when I look at them I get a glimpse of Sophie pulling them out of a storage bin 30 years from now and giving them to her own kids. The toys she had when she was a little girl growing up in Sweden...

swede the plow

When the Swedes want to plow the highway, they do it in one fell swoop. On our way to a meeting in Klippan, Sweden, a coworker and I were stuck behind this two-lane plow on the E4. Have you ever seen anything like this?! The big arm hanging off of it cleared the right lane while it also plowed the left. There was no getting around it for about 20-30 minutes. I thought for sure the dude would pull over to let the long line of cars pass. Not a chance. We all just had to sit tight and go 40 km/h in a 120 km/h zone. Needless to say, I was late for the meeting.

i want to become an old swedish woman

Mature Swedish women have a look. They are typically thin, short-haired, well-groomed and very stylish. Simple, sophisticated stylish. They are natural beauties, requiring little or no makeup, and they have a grace and wisdom about them that reminds me of Audrey Hepburn.

I had a meeting with one yesterday, which made me reflect on my own... errr... ripening.

Wherever I'm living when I'm over 50, I hope I seem even a little bit Swedish.

not the bust we were hoping for

I mentioned that we thought Sophie would go gangbusters at daycare, which started today. Well, she cried gangbusters. But that's about the only thing she did with gusto.

So, yep, it was basically a total bust.

We were completely shocked. Any time she's been around other kids her age she's been so curious and excited. But, like a dog being taken to the kennel or vet, I guess Sophie just knew that this was different.

Fortunately, Sweden has a very gradual introduction to daycare. We went for just one hour today (and the same tomorrow), and we were by her side the whole time. Then, based on how she does, they recommend a plan over the next three weeks, building up her time until she's there without us for a full day.

I have not heard of a similar phase-in back in the states. So, American moms, how on *earth* did you manage to do it? I would have been a complete wreck and unable to function at work.

I'm really bummed about today but trying to stay positive for tomorrow... and the next day.

ja, må hon leva

I meant to add this to my post yesterday. For those of you in the States, this is the traditional Swedish birthday song, "Ja, må du leva." Translation here. Basically it wishes the birthday girl or boy to a long life: "Yes, may you live to a hundred years."

have a swedish christmas

Or at least a little taste of it. My friend, Anna, invited us over for glögg on Sunday. Homemade glögg! And she shared the recipe with me... which I am now sharing with you! This is the non-alcoholic kind, which is tastier in my opinion. But if the black currant juice is too hard to find in the states, you could make this as more of a mulled wine by using red wine instead. I am no Barefoot Contessa, though, so take that adaptation with a grain of salt.

Hemlagad Julglögg (Homemade Christmas Glögg)

8 dl vatten (800ml - or roughly 4 cups - water)
10-15 kryddnejlikor (cloves)
2 bitar ingefära (2 bits of dried ginger)
2 bitar kanel (2 cinnamon sticks)
1 tsk kardemummakärnor (1 tsp cardamom pods)
2 dl koncentrerad svart vinbärssaft (200ml - or 1 cup - concentrated black currant juice)
2 dl koncentrerad äppeljos (200ml - or 1 cup - concentrated apple juice)

Cook the water and add the spices. Let cook for 10 minutes. Add the juice and cook a bit more, and fill your home with a wonderful festive scent. Strain and serve with raisins and sliced almonds. And, of course, some pepparkakor (gingerbread cookies).

white trash of älmhult

We are always the first to put our advent star in the window (well before advent, I might add) and the last to take it down. It's my favorite Swedish christmas tradition. That and St. Lucia. And glögg. :)

raising a baby the swedish way

That's Sophie sleeping out back. If you had asked me if I would ever leave my infant outside sleeping before we moved here, I would have looked at you like you were nuts. Especially if it was winter and only about 40 degrees F outside. And, actually, when I saw some Swedish friends of ours put their children out on their balcony for their naps, my jaw dropped. My friend said pretty matter-of-factly that their children sleep better outside.  Once I got pregnant, I discovered that putting children outside for naps is a pretty normal thing in Sweden. And, sure enough, by the time Sophie was a month or two old, I was doing the same thing. She DOES sleep better out there. People who come from the States to visit give me that same jaw-dropping look when they see me leave Sophie by the back door. It's just funny how normal it seems now.

However, I definitely draw the line at leaving Sophie outside a shop while I run in. Yes, it is a pretty common thing. In fact, you'll often see a line of prams outside small restaurants – especially in Lund and Copenhagen – and they usually have sleeping babies in them. (!!!) No way. I won't even do that in safe little Älmhult.

I've decided that when it comes to introducing food to Sophie, I'm going to do it the Swedish way – for the most part (still not sure about välling, which is a thick formula babies drink through a special bottle). That means:

- She'll get strawberries now instead of waiting until she's 1 year. Lewis even has a slight allergy to strawberries but that doesn't seem to be a concern here.
- She's already had gluten, even though they say to wait until 1 year in the U.S. I was so nervous about this one that I asked the doctor here a few weeks ago about it. He looked at me like I was a ridiculously overprotective mother. "Go ahead and give it to her." I asked him about the possibility of her having a strong reaction to this or the strawberries, and he said, "Just watch her." Uh... OK.
- I should have already given her fish but saw that the U.S. says 1-3 years, so I chickened out. But I've decided to go with the Swedes on this one, and she'll get her first taste next week.
- She's already had beef and chicken, even though the U.S. says to wait until 8-10 months. Lewis and I (both vegetarians for 13+ years) decided to give her meat, because she needs the iron, and we feel it's good to expose her to everything. But we will only buy ecological meat.

Why the different guidelines? The only thing I can think of is that it has something to do with breastfeeding. It's quite common to breastfeed for the first year here, and that gives the child some protection from allergies. The doctor mentioned this when I asked about gluten. I know breastfeeding is on the rise in the States, so I don't know if they'll change the guidelines.

I don't think I'll ever stop googling things to see what the U.S. says, but I've decided that the Swedish way is the more laid-back way. And, right or wrong, that sounds pretty good to me.

daycare anxiety

Every day we walk by the pre-school we hope Sophie will go to in January. And every day we dread the idea of somebody else taking care of her.

Until today.

Because, for the first time, we were on the inside, visiting with the staff in preparation for the sign-up process. What we saw impressed us so much that we actually feel excited for her. She is going to have a blast. She'll spend Mondays in the forest learning about snails, slugs and other critters. Tuesdays are focused on Montessori learning. She'll paint on Wednesdays, and do gymnastics and sports on Thursdays. And then Fridays are for singing.

Now let's just hope we get in. Daycare, or pre-school as they call it, works a bit differently here. You have to submit your top 3 choices to the kommun, and they place you based on that. You should get your #1 unless it's full, I guess. You also pay the same amount no matter where you go: for one child, it's 3% of your income up to a maximum of 1260 SEK ($200) per month. No, I didn't forget a zero. It's $200 per month. (!!!)

They also have a two-week introductory period when a child first enters daycare. The first few days, the parent and child join the group for about an hour. Then the parent leaves for maybe 45 minutes the next day, adding a bit more time each day until the child is there the whole day alone. Isn't that great? No separation anxiety for the child... or the parent.

I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait until January!

it's rhubarb season

Have you eaten much rhubarb? I haven't. It seems like a southern thing to me.

Well, it grows like a weed here. I wish I had known... I would have planted some in the garden. This week, two different Swedes made rhubarb pie for me. With rhubarb from their gardens. (Lucky me!) Both pies were absolutely delicious. More like rhubarb crisp than rhubarb pie. So I have been regularly buying rhubarb at the farmer's market now.

I found this rhubarb crisp recipe online, and Lewis gives it the thumbs up. I'm making it again this weekend.

best place to be a mom

Happy mother's day to all U.S. moms out there! Sweden celebrates the day in a few weeks. We wish we were in Denver right now so we could mark the occasion with breakfast at our favorite spot: Racines. Instead, I think we'll buy some potted flowers at the garden shop. We used to do that with my mom when we were growing up.

Anyway, even though we are lacking a place that serves french toast with strawberries, Sweden is the best place in the world to be a mom. Really! That's what Save the Children says in its Mother's Day Report Card. I think being a mom is the best feeling in the world no matter where in the world you live. But we feel pretty lucky to be so well taken care of in Sweden.

the tax man

We were all enjoying a quiet Sunday night at home (all of us except Lewis, who is still in Greece working on a class project) when chaos struck.

I was nursing Sophie when all of a sudden the doorbell rang. Immediately, Tilly went berserk. And I must have been startled a little, and jerked slightly, because then Sophie lost it and started hysterically screaming. Meanwhile the doorbell kept ringing and Tilly kept barking. It was 3 minutes of pandemonium. I ran to the door with a screaming Sophie in my arms but nobody was there. Then I noticed some dude coming around to the back door. I opened it and asked, "Can I help you?"  The dude explained that he was from Radiotjänst, otherwise known as the TV tax people. Sophie erupted once again with her hysterical screaming. She's never cried like that before and I was really flustered. I told him I couldn't deal with this right now and asked if he could come back.

It took Sophie probably another 15 minutes to calm down enough so she could finish eating. I was so upset that she had become so upset. This protective, mama-lion instinct kicked in, and I think I really could have ripped that guy's head off.

Anyway, back to the TV tax. In Sweden, you have to pay a tax just for having a TV. Why on Earth they do not charge this tax through your cable subscription is beyond me. Instead it's on your honor to pay it. Our American "welcome family" had warned us about the TV tax people when we moved here. They told us how they avoided paying it for years because the people didn't know English and they kind of played dumb about it. So we decided to play dumb too. And it worked up until last night.

Radiotjänst has inspectors that go door to door to register people's TVs. By law they are not allowed inside your home to see if you have a TV. So, theoretically, if the TV is upstairs in a back room, there is no way Radiotjänst can prove that you have a TV. Our TV is in plain view from the sidewalk, so there is no getting around the fact that we have a TV when visiting our house.

The annual TV tax is about 2000 kronor or about $350. A pretty hefty tax! The main reason they collect it is to fund two Swedish public television channels, which we obviously don't watch. But we knew that paying the tax is the right thing to do and that if Radiotjänst contacted us we would pay it.

The guy came back about an hour and a half later, and I gave him all the info he needed. We get our first bill in 2 weeks.

It's a little ridiculous to complain about paying it. Taxes are paying me to stay home with Sophie and take walks in the forest every day. :)

hot wheels

Just a glimpse of pram culture here... the pram parking "lot" at the baby health clinic.

I love being able to walk everywhere with her in the stroller. Earlier this week we walked to the big grocery store, which is on the outskirts of town. That's the one place we usually drive to because it's a bit further out and we tend to really load up. But I think I'll just put a backpack on and head over there on foot with Sophie a few times a week instead. And yesterday we walked to the IKEA store. It was Sophie's first time inside. She slept through the whole thing, so unfortunately I could not show her all the cool products that she will come to love. :)

Yup, I am starting to get out more. With Sophie past the two-month mark, I am less concerned about germs. Plus we're heading into spring, so there are fewer nasty colds going around. On my walk the other day, I bumped into a photographer I work with at IKEA. He is on "pappa leave" and was waiting for a train with his little girl. They were on their way to the Louisiana Museum north of Copenhagen. I told him he was so lucky to be able to get out and do things like that (because his girl is a toddler rather than an infant). He said, "You can, too." I guess he's right. Although breastfeeding does make it a bit more difficult. But I think I'm going to make a list of some good destinations and make a point to go. Museums are perfect because they have easy access to bathrooms, food and private places to breastfeed. Funny how having a child makes you see places in a whole new light.

Oh, but back to the health clinic visit... It was Sophie's two-month checkup, which included a visit from the doctor. That's how the free system can work here. Up until now, we've only seen a woman who's like a midwife for babies, not a real doctor. If there was a problem with Sophie, we would have seen the doctor earlier. But as long as a child is developing normally, babies only see a doctor at 2 months and again at 6 months, 12 months and 18 months. Sophie got the thumbs up from the doc, and now I start a baby massage class with 8 other Swedish moms on Monday. This will be interesting, especially since the class is in Swedish!

feathers, falafel and some vitamin D

IT WASN'T A FLUKE! Our girl wonder did it again. She slept straight through till 7 a.m.

So the well-rested fam took a drive to Sophie's birthplace – Växjö – a 45-minute drive away. It's the main city in our "county," and our main reason for going was so I could change my last name to Lewis'. Yup, I'm no longer a fig. Now it's my middle name.

Why the delay? I like my name. I've liked it for 37 years. And I guess the feminist in me didn't see why I should have to change it. But I guess this cold, dark place has softened me. I've been planning to change it for about a year now, and having Sophie got me to move my butt and do it.

It was easy peasy, and the way the Swedish government works means I don't need to really inform anyone about it. It will be automatically updated since it's tied to my personnumber. And the personnumber drives everything. They use it much more than a social security number. Next I'll change it in my U.S. passport, which is up for renewal soon.

While we were in Växjö, we decided to stroll the shopping street, which was all decked out in Easter feathers (a lady even handed us a bunch!). Yes, they decorate trees with feathers for Easter. I don't know the significance. Usher in spring or something. The little girls also dress up as witches and go door to door. And instead of Easter baskets, they fill cardboard eggs with candy. We picked up 2 eggs today  (see photo) – one for Sophie, and one for her future little sister or brother (whenever THAT happens.) I love that we'll raise her with all these neat Swedish customs. I think I'll buy a bunch of feathers, too. The neighbors will think we're nuts when we move back to the U.S.

Here I am with my feathers and a big ole falafel sandwich as I take in some really bright sunshine.

battling the brown with a little green

When we learned that we'd be adding another person to this planet we decided to try and lighten their footprint as much as possible. We're not perfect by any means! But we try. Like using hand-me-downs and buying used clothing and supplies.  (Which also appeals to our budget, of course.)

But the #1 (and #2) way to be more eco-friendly, of course, is how you take care of the #1 and #2. We use unbleached prefold cloth diapers during the day and disposables at night. (See... not perfect.) The cloth diapers just get soaked so quickly. It's more comfortable for her to sleep longer with the disposables on. So that's what we do. Luckily Sweden has an eco-labeling system, which makes it easier to make the green choice. (I wish the U.S. had this.) It's called the swan label, and it's only placed on two brands of diapers in Sweden.

So far I've only been able to locate one of them, and only at one store in Älmhult: Coop. They're the Coop brand diapers. And they're actually the cheapest.

We'll see how they stand up to Sophie's poo-fests. A co-worker told me she tried Pampers and Libero and liked these the best. You gotta love when the green choice is also the best choice.

good wood

My friend Karin, who was the HR person responsible for hiring me, came by the house today for a little fika and brought Sophie her first Swedish toy: this classic from BRIO. I was JUST saying that I want to find nice wooden toys for our girl, so I was so excited about this great gift! I've heard of BRIO – they make the wooden train sets popular in the U.S. What I didn't know is that the company's roots are right here... like a 15-minute car ride away! A guy named Ivar (not to be confused with IKEA's Ingvar) started the company in 1884. I found a bunch of things that I want to buy, like this cute pull-along dog and push cart. Turns out their main office also has an outlet shop, so Sophie and I will definitely be paying it a visit sometime soon!

the swedish stork - part III

(I promised a part III about coming home with Sophie and here it is... finally!)

For the first hour home with Sophie, we were petrified. I was starting to wonder why we were stupid enough to leave the hospital. Plus I hadn't slept in 4 days, so I was mumbling and delirious.

But that quickly changed after we got a call from our friend Alisa, who reminded us that we are, in fact, capable adults, and then the child health clinic (BVC). I swear when I heard the woman on the other end of the line say she was from the BVC – and that she understood we just left the hospital and wondered if we needed anything – I could have kissed her. What service! We had only been home for about 2 hours.

She explained how the BVC works and set up a time for me to bring Sophie over so she could be weighed and chat a bit.

In the meantime, I had two burning questions that couldn't wait: 1. Our home is a bit colder than the hospital. How could we tell if Sophie was warm enough? (Answer: Babies' hands and feet are always cold. The only way to tell is to feel between their shoulder blades on their back. If it's warm and clammy, they are too warm. Warm is good. Just not clammy.) 2. Is it normal for her to be sleeping so much? (Answer: Yes. Newborns sleep 20 hours a day.)

The woman at the BVC is not a pediatrician. She's like a midwife for babies. In other words, she specializes in child health but she's not a doctor. I met her two days later for Sophie's appt, where she weighed Sophie and measured her head and length. Then she offered to make a home visit the following week. The home visit was great because she could see Sophie's environment and make comments. For example, she saw Sophie's bassinet (pram thingy) and asked if we had a pillow for her head so she won't get a flat spot. She also saw that we had a bouncy seat and said Sophie shouldn't use it until she is 6 weeks old.

Then she gave me some Vitamin A and D to give to Sophie starting at 4 weeks because we don't get enough sun here. (And you thought we were exaggerating.)

The other unusually Swedish thing we have encountered is the Swedish feeding cup (pictured below).

When we were in the hospital they needed to give Sophie formula because of her difficult birth. They used this feeding cup that looked a little like a gravy boat. We picked up one at the apoteket so we could continue supplementing her diet with some formula. Now at 1 month, we give her one formula bottle before she goes to bed and I pump instead. Our reasoning: It fills her up more so she sleeps longer at night, and we want her to be ambi-food-rous if that makes sense. We figure if we keep her on a little formula we can always feed her formula if we need to.

Other highlights of home life with Sophie:

- Poop, lots of poop. When I told the BVC nurse (Ann-Katrin) about our dirty monkey, she laughed and said, "Well, she's eating a lot." (Yes, the girl can eat. Sophie was getting hungry every hour on the hour in the afternoons, but Ann-Katrin told me to push it to 2-3 hours.) We have finally figured out the secret to folding cloth diapers so her poo-fests don't result in blowouts. Though we're also using more disposables than I thought we would - mainly at night.

- Harley the cat and Tilly the dog have pretty much steered clear of Sophie, though both are curious.

- The Pram!! My beloved pram is certainly proving it was worth every krona. The three wheels make it easy to manuever with one hand so I can hold Tilly in the other.

- Sleep or lack of it. Actually Sophie is pretty good at night. When she doesn't amaze us with a 6-hour block, she usually gives us 4-hour shifts, waking up around 2 or 3.

- Sophie loves being in the sling. Mom loves it, too, because then I can use two hands. This one is the organic cotton CuddlyWrap.

 

the swedish stork - part II

OK, onto Part II: Once the delivery was over, Lewis, Sophie and I were taken to our room. Most rooms are doubles, and the husband can stay overnight only if there is space for him. We knew it had been a busy day for deliveries and had little hope that Lewis would be able to stay over. But for some reason we were placed in a single room so it was no problem for Lewis to stay.

Click here for a video tour of our room at Växjö hospital

Some things we found interesting:

- Babies are never apart from their parents. When the doctor was worried that Sophie had gone #2 in the amniotic fluid and swallowed some, they asked Lewis to follow them to another room where they suctioned out her lungs.

- Food is not served to you in your room. You need to walk down to a common area to get it. Breakfast is buffet-style while lunch and dinner are based on your meal preference (ie. they gave me vegetarian meals). 

- The babies are placed in these wheelable bassinets, so it was easy to take Sophie with me to eat every day.

- Everything you need for diaper changes is in your room. They don't do that stuff for you. I don't know what it's like in the U.S., but I was under the impression that the nurses did some of that. I guess it depends on the facilities.

- You are expected to tidy up your room and throw out the garbage before you leave. (Which I did, but then the midwife came in and told me they would clean the room. I've read on message boards that other hospitals in Sweden really expect you to clean up your room.)

- You need to bring clothes for your baby to wear during his or her stay. They put Sophie in an outfit to start, but then we needed to change her into ones we brought the next day.

- The only real negative thing about the way they do it here is that I didn't have one point person to go to to ask questions about Sophie's well-being. Yes, you get to hear many different perspectives, but I was also a little frustrated that the guidance I was given was based on who was working that shift. We were told the day after Sophie was born that they needed to feed her formula because she was starting with "negative money in the bank" so to speak due to the fact that she was pulled out with the vacuum extractor and I received antibiotics during delivery. Since I planned on breastfeeding, I wasn't too happy to hear that because I was worried it would screw that up. I had to just trust her judgment and agree to it. On the last day, when the midwife we love found out we were giving her formula, she made it seem like we demanded it or something. I got the impression that she didn't approve of it. So maybe things would have been different had she been there instead. (We actually don't have a huge problem with the formula. It hasn't gotten in the way of breastfeeding, and we're still feeding her a little to supplement. She's a big eater!)

- And we didn't pay a dime.

christmas in Älmhult

You know you're celebrating Christmas in Sweden when...

1. The turkey you're about to cook has the name, address and photo of the person who raised it on the packaging. (The same is true for honey and all other meat products.)

2. The biggest turkey you can find at the store is less than 10 lbs.

3. Your house is filled with clementines.

4. Your house smells like hyacinths.

5. Your windows have some form of light in them: advent star or candles.

6. You have to tune into iTunes radio to find familiar Christmas music.

7. The grocery store is closed on Christmas Eve but open on Christmas Day.

8. And you've been drinking too much glögg.

At least this is what Christmas was like in our house this year. Since I'm only a few weeks away from delivery, I wasn't allowed to fly back to the states. So Lewis and I had a cozy Christmas here. We invited the other orphans stuck in Sweden from Lewis' program to come join us as the vegetarians attempted to cook a traditional American Christmas meal, complete with turkey and gravy. We had 3 guests from Mexico, Guyana and Ukraine, and they really helped us make the day special.

And did I mention Lewis bought me a new mobile phone??!! Very exciting. Now I don't have to worry that my 5-year-old phone will freeze up just as my water breaks and I need to get a hold of Lewis.

Having Christmas here meant we got to go out and buy a tree in the square. I figured we'd get the lowest priced one. But nooooooo. Lewis shocked me by snubbing the "regular" trees and picking a "silver" level tree. Dad and Dick, I can already see that Lewis will take part in your annual who-has-the-best-tree competition.

Having a tree meant we needed to buy some Swedish ornaments. We like the traditional ones: the doves with the symbol, the straw garland and the little santa heads (photos below.)

God Jul och Gott Nytt År!