A Fig in Sweden Portland

her entourage

från två to three

From baby to big girl ... from single words to full sentences (this morning she asked, "May I be excused?" after breakfast) ... from Älmhult to Portland ... from dagis to preschool ... from ducky at night to not being able to leave the house without one of her buddies ... from shy to little ham ... from high chair to regular chair ... from napp to no pacifier ... from picky eater to sushi eater ... from being dressed to putting on her own jacket ... from crib to big-girl bed ... from super-short baby hair to ponytail ... from the best thing that ever happened to us two years ago to the best thing that ever happened to us three years ago.

 

let sleeping ladybugs lie

feeling anew

When Lewis and I got married, I woke up the next morning and felt "different." I was downright giddy. There was something about making that commitment to each other that changed things even though we had already bought a house together (and had lived together for a few years) and were going right back to that same house.

I have never experienced a monumental  and immediate shift like that from one day to the next. Not even when I turned 40.

But on January 3 — after a 2-day delay setting in — 2011 felt remarkably different than 2010. 

This blog will be turned into a printed family album at some point. Knowing that, I definitely try to focus on the highlights rather than the lowlights. But, in the interest of painting a more accurate picture, I have to say that while the past 3 months have been very exciting, I have really struggled personally with the transition. I really cherish how close Sophie and I have become, but I also know that both of us need space sometimes. Space for me to use my brain creatively, and space for Sophie to grow socially and develop.

What's funny is as much as I have been craving this balance — to be a better me and a better mom — I was really dreading Sophie's January 3 preschool start date. How will I cope without her all day Monday, Wednesday and Friday? Shouldn't she be home with me? Maybe I can figure out a way to do freelance work while she's home.

Reluctantly, I stuck to the plan and brought her yesterday. The girl who throws a fit when I go out for 10 minutes to walk the dog totally stunned me. As I sat on a chair in the corner of the room, I watched her bond with one of the teachers, shout out answers when sitting for a lesson on the letter A and make music with the 9 other kids. She looked over at me once. She was having a blast. It was like this whole time that I needed balance, she needed it, too. At 9:30, they told me I should go and come back to get her at noon. They told her I would be back after lunch, and she was unfazed.

At 9:30 on January 3, 2011 started for me. Things felt right... really right... for the first time since I got here.

Happy new year, indeed.