I think I learned more during the past 10 days about how to be happy in Sweden than I have during the past 18 months of living here... from my family who came to visit from the U.S.
First, my sister and brother-in-law arrived from Maryland. We had snaps in Nyhavn, went castle-touring and cheese-shopping in Helsingor, did the glass tour around Växjö, picnicked on the beach in Åhus and laughed about busses with the word "turistfart" on it. But it wasn't anything about history or cuisine that turned out to be a useful lesson. It was my sister's attitude.
Ever since moving here, I've felt like I have to do things to fit in with this culture. Being from Denver, I am more of an outdoorsy girl than a stylie girl (but I still thought I had some sort of personal style.) Well, that went out the window when I arrived here. I guess because everyone at work seemed to be on a whole different level of style. I started to feel frumpy and lost any style confidence I had. But why do I care so much about fitting in? My sister laughed at herself and came across as being very comfortable in her own skin. She was just herself, and she was happy. So that was lesson #1: just be yourself... don't compare yourself to the people around you.
Then my mom and dad came over from South Carolina 6 days later, and we had more fun – stepping 300 years back in time in Råshult, buying cheap little treasures at the antique market in Moheda, and making a return trip to Hamlet's castle. But the most interesting moment for me was when my dad walked next door and started chatting with our neighbors. Now my dad is notorious for this kind of thing. He'll walk up to anyone and start talking with them. He learned more about our neighbor in 5 minutes than we had in a year. He also got to know the barista in the bakery and random people on the train. Lewis and I felt completely ridiculous. Here we are complaining that Swedes can be cold or distant. Well, it takes two to tango. My dad found that everyone he talked to was extremely friendly and happy to speak English. Why have we been so afraid to approach people and interact with them? The worst that can happen is that they're rude. But so what? That was lesson #2.
My brother-in-law and mom, meanwhile, reminded us about all the neat things about being here. Even just living in a small town like Älmhult. How cool it is to walk to the grocery store, for example. And how everyone bikes. It was fun to see them react to all the same things we reacted to when we moved here. I think a lot of it has just become sort of ordinary to us. But it's good to remind yourself of how lucky you are once in a while.
I guess the common theme was "just be yourself and who cares what anyone else thinks. And appreciate what you have."
That's a valid lesson no matter where you live.
Fashionistas ain't got nothin' on you, my friend. :>
Posted by: Mary Jo | June 01, 2007 at 07:41 PM
Found your blog while cruising. Live in Sweden (Lund) as well and laughed when I read about how your dad found out more about the neighbors in 5 min. My parents were here in May. My dad did his (what I have learned to be particularly American) chatting up of everyone he met. He now knows my neighbors, grocer, etc better as well. I have sulked about the "coldness" of Swedes to them many times. He just did his normal thing. While they may have looked at him funny at first, they warmed up as well. Takes two to tango.
L
Posted by: Lisa | June 29, 2007 at 01:51 AM