You remember Long Duck Dong from Sixteen Candles? I'm probably at his level when it comes to Swedish. I think it's fair to say that I'm not a language person. Most of the time at work people speak Swedish in meetings, send emails in Swedish, etc., but I usually don't say more than "Thank you," "Goodbye," "Can I get a cinnamon roll?"
That is until tonight...
Lewis and I need firewood for the winter and saw an ad for some in the IKEA newspaper. I called the number and said in Swedish, "Hi. I'm calling about the wood in the Älmhultsbladet." Ja, he said. "Do you speak English," I said in Swedish. "No," he said, "I only speak Swedish."
Crap! Not even a word.
What follows is a transcript of the next 15 minutes as I stumbled along, laughed, and made a complete fool of myself to try and communicate with this guy.
Me: OK, I speak a little Swedish
Him: You speak Swedish well
Me: No, no, no! Is the wood for fireplace?
Him: Yes (and then a whole bunch of stuff I didn't understand, which led me to think maybe it was burnable wood pellets or something)
Me: I don't understand. Um. Where are you?
Him: Håkan
Me: Håkan? (No freaking clue where that is.)
Him: Where do you live?
Me: We live in Älmhult
(Somewhere around here I told him that I would call him back, thinking we would need a translator because I thought there's no way I know enough words to continue this conversation.)
Him: How many cubic meters do you need?
Me: 10
Him: (no freakin clue)
Me: I don't understand
Him: (no freakin clue)
Me: I'm sorry. I'm trying. (laughing) How much does it cost?
Him: 300 kronor per cubic meter
Me: Good! (Giving Lewis thumbs up)
Him: Can you (blah, blah, blah) yourself?
Me: No, we only have a car.
Him: Only a car?
Me: Yes
Him: (something about him bringing it to us for 400 kronor.) It is a big amount and I will have to make 3 trips.
Me: Ok, so 3,400 kronor?
Him: Yes. Where do you live in Älmhult?
Me: Knutsgatan 18
Him: Where is that?
Me: By train station
Him: what?
Me: train station
Him: what?
Me: Wait a minute (as I motion to Lewis to go get the dictionary). OK, train station (different word).
Him: Oh, train station!
Me: Yes
Him: How far are you from the train station?
Me: 100-200 meters. Is wood good for fireplace?
Him: Of course!
Me: Is it chopped?
Him: What?
Me: chopped?
Him: Yes, it is split.
Me: Split? (Don't know the word.)
Him: Ok, so when can I come?
----
You get the idea. I think I asked 2 more times if the wood was good for a fireplace (yes, the dude now thinks I'm retarded) and said "I don't know," "I don't understand," and "Uhhhhhh," about a dozen times throughout the conversation. BUT THE REALLY COOL THING IS THAT WE WILL HAVE 10 CUBIC METERS OF WOOD DELIVERED BETWEEN 3 AND 4 ON MONDAY!
And now he just called back!!!
What a funny Swedish man. I didn't follow so much. He was laughing and I was laughing. All I know is we changed the time that he's coming by. I think I may have said that we were walking to Lund tomorrow (Lund is a 1-hour drive.)
So he either thinks I'm retarded or just plain crazy...
This is our life now.
I just laughed my butt off reading this!!! Ginny, I think you guys are doing amazingly well with the language barrier. That conversation went a lot better than I would have done.
Posted by: Liz | November 13, 2006 at 05:37 PM