A Fig in Sweden

1 month!

Happy 1-month birthday, little angel.

the swedish stork - part III

(I promised a part III about coming home with Sophie and here it is... finally!)

For the first hour home with Sophie, we were petrified. I was starting to wonder why we were stupid enough to leave the hospital. Plus I hadn't slept in 4 days, so I was mumbling and delirious.

But that quickly changed after we got a call from our friend Alisa, who reminded us that we are, in fact, capable adults, and then the child health clinic (BVC). I swear when I heard the woman on the other end of the line say she was from the BVC – and that she understood we just left the hospital and wondered if we needed anything – I could have kissed her. What service! We had only been home for about 2 hours.

She explained how the BVC works and set up a time for me to bring Sophie over so she could be weighed and chat a bit.

In the meantime, I had two burning questions that couldn't wait: 1. Our home is a bit colder than the hospital. How could we tell if Sophie was warm enough? (Answer: Babies' hands and feet are always cold. The only way to tell is to feel between their shoulder blades on their back. If it's warm and clammy, they are too warm. Warm is good. Just not clammy.) 2. Is it normal for her to be sleeping so much? (Answer: Yes. Newborns sleep 20 hours a day.)

The woman at the BVC is not a pediatrician. She's like a midwife for babies. In other words, she specializes in child health but she's not a doctor. I met her two days later for Sophie's appt, where she weighed Sophie and measured her head and length. Then she offered to make a home visit the following week. The home visit was great because she could see Sophie's environment and make comments. For example, she saw Sophie's bassinet (pram thingy) and asked if we had a pillow for her head so she won't get a flat spot. She also saw that we had a bouncy seat and said Sophie shouldn't use it until she is 6 weeks old.

Then she gave me some Vitamin A and D to give to Sophie starting at 4 weeks because we don't get enough sun here. (And you thought we were exaggerating.)

The other unusually Swedish thing we have encountered is the Swedish feeding cup (pictured below).

When we were in the hospital they needed to give Sophie formula because of her difficult birth. They used this feeding cup that looked a little like a gravy boat. We picked up one at the apoteket so we could continue supplementing her diet with some formula. Now at 1 month, we give her one formula bottle before she goes to bed and I pump instead. Our reasoning: It fills her up more so she sleeps longer at night, and we want her to be ambi-food-rous if that makes sense. We figure if we keep her on a little formula we can always feed her formula if we need to.

Other highlights of home life with Sophie:

- Poop, lots of poop. When I told the BVC nurse (Ann-Katrin) about our dirty monkey, she laughed and said, "Well, she's eating a lot." (Yes, the girl can eat. Sophie was getting hungry every hour on the hour in the afternoons, but Ann-Katrin told me to push it to 2-3 hours.) We have finally figured out the secret to folding cloth diapers so her poo-fests don't result in blowouts. Though we're also using more disposables than I thought we would - mainly at night.

- Harley the cat and Tilly the dog have pretty much steered clear of Sophie, though both are curious.

- The Pram!! My beloved pram is certainly proving it was worth every krona. The three wheels make it easy to manuever with one hand so I can hold Tilly in the other.

- Sleep or lack of it. Actually Sophie is pretty good at night. When she doesn't amaze us with a 6-hour block, she usually gives us 4-hour shifts, waking up around 2 or 3.

- Sophie loves being in the sling. Mom loves it, too, because then I can use two hands. This one is the organic cotton CuddlyWrap.

 

life is a circle

That handsome couple is my mom and dad, and that little peanut is me. I wasn't sure Sophie looked much like me until my mom showed me these pictures.

Fast forward 37 years, and here they are again holding a little infant in their arms: their granddaughter.

They flew out here for two weeks to help out and get to know Sophie. It was a REALLY great visit. You gotta love it when a two-week visit feels too short. We got so used to them being here, it felt like they had moved in (which would be A-OK with us... I know Sophie would love it too). Both my mom and dad seemed to have the magic touch in lulling Sophie to sleep. And when Sophie started to get a little fussy for the first time, they made me feel sane and that I wasn't doing something wrong. (Luckily Sophie isn't fussy very often, or I would really be in trouble.) We even managed to make three short excursions to Lund, Växjö and the antique market in Moheda. My mom and I also hit the sewing shop in town, where I picked up some fabric to make Sophie a dress.

Going to Lund and Växjö with Sophie proved to be a little difficult. Mainly because she isn't supposed to be inside public places yet since it's winter and illness spreads so easily. That meant we had to stay outside. So basically I had to feed her and change her diaper in the car, which was more of a hassle than it sounds like. It will be much easier to get out and take her places when she can go inside.

Grandma (aka "Mimi") and Grandpa (aka "Doc") fell in love with Sophie, of course. And Sophie gave some of her very first smiles back at them. Their visit - and teary departure - made me miss home. I love the fact that we are raising a baby in child-friendly, no-crime Sweden. But now that Sophie is in the picture, sometimes it feels like we are too far away from the people we care about and the people we want Sophie to know.

fig kids

Sophie isn't the only fig kid out there. Turns out there's a whole bunch of fig kids thanks to a Canadian Fig... Fig organic kids fashion. Now that's a label Sophie can wear with pride!

My friend Mary Jo tipped me off to this cool eco-company based in Whistler, British Columbia. I emailed them a few months ago to spread some fig cheer, and it turns out they had a little fig kid of their own about a week ago. A little fig girl, too! Too bad she and Sophie are on opposite sides of the world. I can just see them heading to the slopes on a powder day in their little snowsuits. (Speaking of which, how early can we teach Sophie to snowboard?) :)

Anyway, co-owner Michael Ziff and I have been emailing back and forth about our little figkids. He's a great guy trying to help "Spaceship Earth" one certified organic cotton thread at a time. I, for one, can't wait to support the cause... and Sophie's eco-wardrobe.

Julia Roberts' daughter Hazel already does...

happy valentine's day

 

sophie is on the move

Sophie got a taste of the urban life yesterday when Grandma, Grandpa and I drove down to Lund and met daddy after class for a little clothes, cheese and coffee shopping.

newparentcameraosis

new·par·ent·cam·er·a·o·sis, n. A condition in which parents, particularly new parents, grab any camera in sight to photograph their children and then mass-distribute the images to everyone they know.

the swedish stork - part II

OK, onto Part II: Once the delivery was over, Lewis, Sophie and I were taken to our room. Most rooms are doubles, and the husband can stay overnight only if there is space for him. We knew it had been a busy day for deliveries and had little hope that Lewis would be able to stay over. But for some reason we were placed in a single room so it was no problem for Lewis to stay.

Click here for a video tour of our room at Växjö hospital

Some things we found interesting:

- Babies are never apart from their parents. When the doctor was worried that Sophie had gone #2 in the amniotic fluid and swallowed some, they asked Lewis to follow them to another room where they suctioned out her lungs.

- Food is not served to you in your room. You need to walk down to a common area to get it. Breakfast is buffet-style while lunch and dinner are based on your meal preference (ie. they gave me vegetarian meals). 

- The babies are placed in these wheelable bassinets, so it was easy to take Sophie with me to eat every day.

- Everything you need for diaper changes is in your room. They don't do that stuff for you. I don't know what it's like in the U.S., but I was under the impression that the nurses did some of that. I guess it depends on the facilities.

- You are expected to tidy up your room and throw out the garbage before you leave. (Which I did, but then the midwife came in and told me they would clean the room. I've read on message boards that other hospitals in Sweden really expect you to clean up your room.)

- You need to bring clothes for your baby to wear during his or her stay. They put Sophie in an outfit to start, but then we needed to change her into ones we brought the next day.

- The only real negative thing about the way they do it here is that I didn't have one point person to go to to ask questions about Sophie's well-being. Yes, you get to hear many different perspectives, but I was also a little frustrated that the guidance I was given was based on who was working that shift. We were told the day after Sophie was born that they needed to feed her formula because she was starting with "negative money in the bank" so to speak due to the fact that she was pulled out with the vacuum extractor and I received antibiotics during delivery. Since I planned on breastfeeding, I wasn't too happy to hear that because I was worried it would screw that up. I had to just trust her judgment and agree to it. On the last day, when the midwife we love found out we were giving her formula, she made it seem like we demanded it or something. I got the impression that she didn't approve of it. So maybe things would have been different had she been there instead. (We actually don't have a huge problem with the formula. It hasn't gotten in the way of breastfeeding, and we're still feeding her a little to supplement. She's a big eater!)

- And we didn't pay a dime.

she sleeps

...and we all sleep. We said we wouldn't bring Sophie into our bed to sleep. That was before we were her parents. She starts in her bassinet but often ends up with us in our bed around 3. Cosleeping is very common in Sweden. Some agree with it, some don't. We're happy with the arrangement because Sophie is sleeping 8+ hours every night and wakes up once for a feeding (anywhere between 2 and 4). Jättebra!

the swedish stork - part I

Hi everyone! I've been a mom for 6 days, 16 hours and 44 minutes!!! It's been incredible and wonderful from the very first moment. Sophie is an angel and is making being a first-time mom feel pretty easy so far. Thank goodness she is such a calm baby, because her journey into this world was anything but stress-free. And she handled it all so well. Mom? Well, I think I did pretty good too.

Here's the exciting chain of events that led to her birth:

1 p.m., Jan. 24: Lewis, his uncle Dick and I take Tilly for a long walk to the lake. We get 45 minutes out and turn around just as Tilly hurt one of her paws and couldn't walk. Dick and I stay behind with Tilly while Lewis runs home to get the car. I tell them it would be funny if I started having contractions then. Nobody thinks it's funny.

8 p.m.: Steve Carell induces my contractions. We sit down to watch 40-year-old Virgin and I start feeling a new sort of pain in my back and abdomen. That guy is talented.

9:26 p.m.: I keep my eye on the clock and these weird pains are coming every 10 minutes. They get a bit faster over the next hour or so, so I call the hospital. They say it's too early and to wait until the contractions are 3-4 minutes apart. "Try to get some sleep." Yeah right.

3 a.m., January 25: Contractions are hard to bear and the midwives at Växjö hospital tell me I am welcome to come in. It's a calm, quiet ride in the dark even though Lewis manages to find every pothole.

3:45 a.m.:  I'm placed in my birthing room and they check a bunch of stuff to make sure that I am indeed in labor. I'm 2cm dilated.

3:46 a.m.: WHEN CAN I GET AN EPIDURAL?? Silly me wrote in my birth plan that I wanted to deliver the baby naturally. Ha! Time for a new birth plan. The midwife says I can't get the epidural until I'm 4cm dilated, but I can try alternative pain therapy. I decide to take a hot bath and then tried laughing gas. Laughing gas is banned in the U.S. for some reason, but I'm happy it's available here. I wasn't exactly laughing through the contractions but it "chopped the peak off" as the midwife says.

2 p.m.: I'm fully dilated and should be ready to push at any moment. The midwife we love is about to end her shift at 3, so we're hoping we can pop Tito out in an hour. But Tito has other plans. Her head hasn't dropped enough and I have a fever, which is affecting the baby's heartrate. They give me antibiotics and boost my contractions with some chemical in my IV. Nice.

8 p.m.: 6 hours later I'm ready to push. Oh, but not before my epidural ran out and the new midwife said they weren't going to renew it. Thanks. (We don't like the new midwife.) Unfortunately, after about an hour of pushing, Tito's head isn't budging much. A doctor is called in and he says he can get our little munchkin out with a suction cup or vacuum extractor.

9:20 p.m.: After trying the suction 3-4 times, they try the heavy-duty vacuum extractor a couple times. Finally in the third push/pull, Sophie Grace was born. Turns out I was trying to push her head, hand and shoulder at the same time, because the little peanut had her hand over her head. Little rebel. Girl power!

They placed her immediately on my chest. I looked down at her first and then over at Lewis, who was bawling. What an amazing moment. I have to add that during the entire 18+ hours in active labor at the hospital, Lewis did everything right. He always knew what I needed and where to rub me. I know men must feel like they don't play an active role in the birth, but I couldn't have done it without him right there with me.

A lot of people have asked me about the language barrier in the delivery room. With the first two shifts of midwives, it wasn't a problem at all. I felt like I was in the best care possible and was in constant communication with the staff. Even the older midwife assistants who weren't the best in English were the sweetest people and we always managed to find a way to understand each other.

That all changed when the last of my midwives came on at 2. We definitely felt neglected and sometimes she would only speak Swedish and be like, "You understand, right?" It's a bummer that after 2 great midwives, this woman delivered our baby. It's awful to think this, but I can't help but feel she gave us attitude because we're Americans. I can't think of any other reason. Oh well, the important thing is that Sophie is here.

Here are some more labor pictures. Part II on our hospital stay and Part III on bringing baby home will be posted in between feedings and naps...

Our arrival at the hospital in the middle of the night.

During labor, I tried to stand as much as possible to get some help from gravity. They had these special contraptions on wheels so you could move around and get support when you needed it. They probably have these in the U.S. too.

When the contractions were easy, dad tried to catch a few Zs.